The Power in Presence
The burden of decisions plagues me.
It’s felt entirely overwhelming many times throughout my short life.
When at a crossroads, staring down the Y of the road ahead, it’s been easy to freeze.
The spiraling mind blowing it all out of proportion and leaving you scared to take a single step.
In my teen years, I spent hours, nights, and days stressed over the life I'd live, hoping to make the “right decisions” and fearing I wouldn’t.
At 13, I felt I had to map out every single path I’d take throughout my life, which, of course, is the most ridiculous self-inflicted task to put on myself as I was constantly changing and growing.
I wanted to be a music producer one month, a graphic designer the next, and an actress for longer than I’d like to admit (that one lingered).
The iterations of “what I wanted to do” never ended: maybe a travel YouTuber, food critic, talk show host, baker, potter, medicine healer, and so sooo many more.
I’d tell my parents what I wanted to try and the many professions I wanted to have, countless potentials ahead of me. The endless idea-train chugging along my mind creating the lives I could maybe one day live—all the while forgetting to soak in the present moment I was in.
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The desires I have and the lives I want to live still change seemingly every day. I’m sure they’ll continue to do so throughout my life.
The fig tree of options branches out in all directions ahead of me, oftentimes feeling daunting and overwhelming.
How could I ever fit all that I want to do and be in this little life?
The answer to which I still don’t have.
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When talking to the more seasoned adults in my life, I’ve realized these feelings never end.
You’ll never wake up one day completely and totally content; there’s always another thing to strive for and desire.
For some people, that realization can feel burdensome and tiring (and by "some people," I mean me two days ago).
But I know that living my best, most fulfilled, present, and aligned life is possible in anything I do, and the same goes for you.
Reading the book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle has been influential in easing my racing mind.
Within its pages, Tolle discusses the true power of being present and how it leads to creating joy, abundance, and enthusiasm in anything we choose to spend time on.
“Joy does not come from what you do, it flows into what you do and thus into this world from deep within you.”
He explains that believing that joy derives from something you do—something external—is flawed.
The world cannot bring us joy or happiness, and thinking it can, causes frustration because “the world is not giving them what they think they need.”
The reason we enjoy things—an activity or work—derives from being fully present with it, not from the thing itself.
“It isn’t the action you perform that you really enjoy, but the deep sense of aliveness that flows into it. That aliveness is one with who you are” and in enjoying something, you’re really experiencing the joy of Being.
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From this logic, anything one does can lead to joy, even the job you’ve hated for the past year.
People’s lives don’t just go off the rails, and dreams don’t just become unfulfilled, they make decisions and forget presence.
They forget presence is where we create purpose. Where we create peace. And where we create joy.
They blame the Universe for their external issues without realizing what they can learn from it, taking no responsibility for their hand in it.
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Now, thinking about my own life, the times I’ve felt most confused, lost, and insane have all occurred within moments of future thinking. Putting my mind too far ahead and fearing the unknown.
The things I’ve accomplished—moving to Europe, for instance—only came once I surrendered control and took present action steps towards what I wanted. There were many times before I actually moved where I attempted to control the timing of it, tried to speed up the process, but it only happened once I let go.
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Figuring out what you want is step one; you don’t need to know how it’ll happen, but rather what you wish to experience.
Me moving to Europe is a great example because I had no details figured out, only the life I wished to live in my mind’s eye. No idea of what city I wanted to live in, or which language I wanted to hear, or the types of people I wanted to meet. I simply moved forward by finding a school and trusted the rest would follow in time, and it surely did.
For some, you could start by looking for a job first, then decide the location based on that, or in a different scenario, write up your ideal morning routine, narrowing your search scope.
In deciding next steps of life, anything you desire is possible, that’s why deciding what you want, in vivid detail, is the first action step to take (from my experience).
Then the hard part comes: letting it unfold naturally.
Our ego wants control, it wants answers and to know months ahead where life is going—a nearly impossible goal to achieve.
You have to allow your intuition to guide you through aligned action steps.
It’ll sound like a gentle background nudge, telling you to look at a job sight, or text a friend, or email a person you’ve never met.
These steps are intuitive, and only through presence can you hear them.
We don’t need control, we need presence.
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Reminding ourselves of these lessons is a life long task for all of us.
It’s nice to remember that unhappiness in life is not necessarily what you’re doing, but a lack of being present to what you’re doing.
Life moves through you, not the other way around, so standing in presence or stillness doesn’t mean you’re doing nothing, it simply means you’re letting the experiences flow to you without force or control.
It’s completely opposite to what society teaches us, but in my experience so far, it’s a much easier, less stressful, and simpler way to welcome things into your life, because what’s meant for you will always find you, so what emotions do you want to feel as they come in?
Start by focusing on being present in every moment for a week—only one week—and see how it affects your daily life.
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Deciding the next steps in life can be daunting, but remember, you can’t make a “wrong decision." You simply give yourself the chance to tell a different story. So what story do you want to tell next?
I hope you find peace, joy, and presence in the process of creating whatever life you want to live, because it can be fun if you let it. I believe in you, thanks for reading :)
xoxo,
Ayla
